cycle one

I'm mid-cycle in my first attempt at IUI.  I got my period on April 3rd, took Clomid from April 5th-9th, and started testing for ovulation on April 13th.  I'm on day 13 of my cycle, and I'm extremely nervous about the whole process.  What if the Clomid doesn't work, and I don't ovulate?  What happens if my LH surge is of short duration, and I miss it because I tested at the wrong time of day?  What if the ovulation test is just broken?

I know (or expect) that my worries are baseless.  I ovulated each time that I took Clomid in the past.  I'm nervous, though, because the protocol changed slightly from my past experience.  Last year, I took the Clomid on days 5-9; this time I took it on days 3-7.

This first cycle fell during a particularly bad time of year.  I'm working on several large projects at work, one of which doesn't actually belong to me.  My boss asked me to play a lead role in this project because I'm "the path of least resistance".  I agreed to help before I knew for sure that I was going through IUI.  I've since told him that I won't be able to complete the project quickly because a) I have my own work to do and b) I need to keep my stress levels down, so I can get pregnant.  He understood, and told me to finish the project as time permits.

I'm also in the middle of a bathroom renovation project at home.  Fortunately the bathroom work is being done by contractors, but it is having an impact on my life.  Right now, I can't put anything in my closet because the workers need to access the pipes through the closet walls.  Everything that was in my closet is now in a pile on my floor, blocking access to my bureau.  It's altogether too much disarray, given that I'm dealing with heightened hormones.

I suppose there's no good time to start something like IUI, but I hoped my first cycle would be during a relatively low-stress period.

On a positive note, I'm having some success at my attempts to cut back on caffeine.  Right now, I'm down to one cup of coffee per day.  I've been replacing my work coffee with "mother-to-be" herbal tea made from raspberry leaves for uterine health and peppermint for nausea.  If the gimmicky tea works, then great.  Really, though, I just like the ritual of drinking a hot beverage in the morning at work.  

medical professionals

As I mentioned previously, my husband and I started seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist in January.  What I haven't mentioned are my growing concerns that the doctor's office is staffed with people that are completely incompetent.  Here's a brief history of the issues I've encountered over the past three months:

• I've been to the clinic three times, and all three times involved some sort of scheduling mishap on the part of the clinic.  They pushed back my first appointment because the doctor was on vacation.  I almost missed my blood test appointment because the nurse told me to come at 8pm (not 8am, the actual time of the appointment).  The worst mishap occurred on my third appointment, when they told me my appointment was on the "first Friday in March".  When I arrived on March 4th, they said "oh, sorry... your appointment is on March 11th".  As a result of these mishaps, I won't have access to treatment until April when I could have started in February if everything had gone smoothly.
• At my first appointment in January, the doctor told me I had to take several tests, including HIV and Rubella tests.  I told him that I took those tests in August per my OBGYN's order.  He looked at my folder, flipped through the paperwork, and said "oh, well... I haven't reviewed your test results yet".  He then proceeded to write an order that included HIV and Rubella tests.
• At my March 11th appointment, the doctor recommended IUI (artificial insemination) with Clomid.  This was the least invasive procedure, and I would be able to start the Clomid that day.  Perfect, I said, let's do that.  He said I should meet with his nurse to work out the details.  The nurse told me that I couldn't start Clomid today, because a) I'm on the 4th day of my cycle, and Clomid has to start on CD 3, and b) my insurance company hasn't approved this course of action yet.
• Today I received an invoice for the blood work that occurred in February.  I was charged the full amount for the blood work because the doctor's office gave the lab the wrong insurance information.  Now I have to call the lab to get this straightened out.

I'm completely puzzled by this entire situation.  The doctor keeps telling me that I need help with stress management, and yet his office is creating some of my stress.  

Regardless, the doctor gave me somewhat good news.  He said my test results are completely normal, and that I should have no problem getting pregnant.  He would have known that sooner, though, if he had read my OBGYN's notes back in January.

UPDATE:  I tried calling the lab to fix the insurance mistake, but the phone number included on the bill was out of service.  I eventually found another phone number via Google, and fixed the error.  

back to planning

Throughout my life, I've made multiple attempts to maintain a diary.  "Keeping a diary" was a common trait amongst pop icons in the 80's, which meant I grew up believing that diaries were an essential part of life.  The process was always the same:

1) Over a school break, I would discover a new character that wrote her deepest, darkest secrets in a diary.  Said character would immediately feel better about life in general, as if putting pen to paper validated every unbalanced emotion she felt throughout the day.

2) As a gawky adolescent, I identified with the character.  I decided to emulate her behavior, in the hopes that I'll become less gawky and attract more friends and/or possible boyfriends.  I'd decide that the key to her success was the diary.

3) I'd beg mom to buy me a new diary.  Sometimes she acquiesced, and sometimes she didn't.  When she didn't, I would find a used notebook, tear out the school-work from the previous year, and save the leftover sheets for my inner-most thoughts and feelings.

4) The diary quickly filled up with mundane facts about my day ("ate breakfast, went to the beach, took a shower, went to bed").  After a few days of chronicalling the day-to-day operations of my household, I grew tired of the diary and gave up on the whole venture.

This process repeated itself at least once a year, usually over summer break, for about 5 years.  I stopped mid-way through high school, probably because I was too busy to read and/or had my licence.  Also, I may have developed an overinflated sense of self that comes with being an upperclassman in high school.

After college, I tried to start a journal again.  Although I no longer believed that diaries were the key to happiness, I still felt there was value to the process.  My first attempt was the year after I graduated from college, also known as "my first year on my own".  I was fairly good at maintaining that journal, mostly because I was filled with angst about two failed relationships.  Also, for some reason my roommate and I decided to live in a suburb with a "dry downtown", which really was an odd choice for two 20-somethings in the greater Boston area.  No neighborhood bar plus no cable TV/internet equals plenty of time to brood about lost loves from college.  When our lease ended, I moved to the City, and threw away my diary of loneliness.  

I've tried to restart the journaling process several times since then - namely, when I was grieving my mom while planning a wedding, and when we first started trying to get pregnant - with little success.  

Long story short, I'm bad at journaling, so I shouldn't be surprised that I'm bad at blogging.  

On the baby-making front, we saw a reproductive endocrinologist in January.  He ordered a series of cycle-day-3 tests.  Since I saw the doctor on CD-5, I had to wait a whole month to begin the diagnostic tests.  We had our tests mid-February, and we have a follow-up appointment with the RE on March 4th.  I expect to get my period shortly after March 4th, so hopefully we'll be able to start our protocol next cycle.  I plan to do a better job of updating my blog once the protocol starts.